


Not Okay

by orphan_account



Category: Junior Express (TV)
Genre: M/M, Teen Arnoldo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-13 05:22:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19244674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Patrick had suffered a lot in his past. He kept all of it out of his new relationship and away from his new friends. When he starts to go into a low, his past springs up and causes an unfortunate turn of events.





	1. When Were You Going To Tell Me?

**Author's Note:**

> These are a lot of prompts that I’ve kinda sewn together into something. Some are from Tumblr and some are me filling in information. This takes a look into Green’s past and his disorders. Also setting it in the Teen Arnoldo universe to try to get used to writing that.

He was at a low. Everything was hard to do at the moment, every little thing made him feel awful about himself. It wasn’t the first time he’d felt like this. The press did enough damage to his mental and Pink just added to his problems. The worst part was it would never go away. 

Patrick stared aimlessly at the wall as he ate another bite of cereal. He fought with himself over whether or not he should eat something. He usually had no problem with food, but recently he felt so ill even just thinking about the concept of eating. He just wanted to lay down and not wake up for a very long period of time. Pink walked in and noticed the eery silence coming from the boy. 

“Green, you just got out of bed, why are you wearing your sunglasses?” Pink asked him. He didn’t move. Green did look funny in his sweatpants and t-shirt and his sunglasses. 

“It’s part of my aesthetic” Green said, his voice was hoarse. Pink put a hand to his forehead, frowning at the heat. 

“Patrick, are you feeling ok?” Pink asked worried. If Green was sick, he couldn’t go to the studio and get the song finished. He wanted to say he was feeling fine like usual, but if he said he didn’t he could go back to bed. 

“I feel awful” he said plainly. Pink huffed and scratched her neck. 

“Why are you up then? Go back to bed, you moron” She said, taking steps away from him. Green put his bowl in the sink and did as he was told, smirking as he shut the door to his room. The moment the lock clicked, he slid down the door and sat on the floor. Tears rolled down his cheeks. 

~

Carlos climbed in through the window and looked at the state of Green’s room. It was a mess. Clothes were everywhere, cups littered every surface, and it looked like Green had knocked over the little end table by his bed. The boy was fast asleep, curled up in bed. He was paler than usual, it is was obvious he wasn’t sleeping well with the way he would move around in his sleep. Carlos picked up the little table and fixed it to its usual position. He picked up the drawer that had fallen out along with its contents. His spare set of keys, some pencils, a tiny notebook, his sleep medication, and a set of papers he’d never seen before. Carlos gave a little frown. He shouldn’t, it was none of his business. Carlos grumbled as he fought with himself. He opened the crumpled up page and frowned. They were medical papers. Carlos knew about the insomnia, he didn’t know about the poisoning. Carlos didn’t know about the hospital visit to get his stomach pumped. Carlos also didn’t know about the antidepressant Patrick was SUPPOSED to be taking. Carlos knew he definitely wasn’t taking that, he had seen the pill bottles in Green’s medicine cabinet. None of them were for that. Carlos looked at partially green haired boy in bed. He knew about the scars, but Patrick had always told him they were from accidents. Now Carlos wasn’t so sure. 

 

Green put his car in park and waited for Carlos to get out. The two had hung out for a little while, not long since “wasn’t feeling well.” 

“Carlos-“ Green started. 

“We need to talk” Carlos said quickly. Green took a swig of his soda and was silent for a moment. 

“About what?” Green asked slowly. He really didn’t like where this was going. 

“Are you ok?” Carlos asked. Green could hear the genuine worry in Carlos’ monotone voice. 

“Yeah, I’m fine” Green lied. Carlos took Green’s glasses off. 

“Look me in the eyes and tell me you are fine” Carlos told him. Green looked at him. Dark circles surrounded the boy’s tired eyes. Green bit the inside of his cheek as he tried to muster up the words while Carlos’ piercing blue eyes stared at him. 

“I-I told you, I’m fine” Green mumbled as he looked away and played with his hands. Carlos huffed. He just wanted to help the boy, but he couldn’t help Patrick if Patrick wasn’t gonna help himself. 

“I found those medical papers in your room... when were you going to tell me?” Carlos asked, trying to keep his anger down. Green looked at him suddenly. 

“How did you-I thought I- look it’s not what it sounds like!” Green tried to find his words. His mind was in scrambles and so was his speech. 

“Well when it said you had to get your stomach pumped and then you are supposed to be on antidepressants, you kinda put two and two together Patrick” Carlos said. 

“I just drank too much and it happened to be on bad terms, I-I-with the lights-press events-with” Patrick tried to speak. 

“You are not forming sentences Patrick” Carlos stopped his boyfriend. Green nodded and took a breath. 

“Why did you not tell me?” Carlos asked. Patrick rubbed his eyes. 

“Because I didn’t want to remember, Carlos” Patrick said shakily. He was on the verge of tears. 

“Remember what?” Carlos asked him. He needed to know, so he could help Patrick. 

“The pain” Patrick whispered. Carlos took his hand. 

“Are you ok?” Carlos asked him again. Patrick looked the tall drummer in the eyes. 

“No I’m not”


	2. I’m Used To It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos asked Francis to hang out with Green.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a prompt fill so it’s short. We might actually see some Teen Arnoldo in the next chapter.

Francis let Green into the home. The bigger teen waved at Julio, who had taken over the couch, as he walked in, his bag slung over his shoulder. It was still strange seeing the boy without Carlos or Pink, but Carlos was worried about him. He was alone for the weekend and Carlos had to spend time with his mom, and the tall drummer hadn’t told her about Green yet. Francis reached out to the DJ and asked if he wanted to hang out, to Francis’ surprise, he said yes. Carlos had mentioned something about self improvement, but Carlos wouldn’t elaborate on what that meant. Green looked around the home, taking his shoes off at the door. 

“Feel free to make yourself at home-“ Francis started. Green looked at him suddenly. 

“You didn’t have to do this” He simply said. Francis furrowed his brow. 

“What do you-“ Francis went to ask but Green shook his head, laughing. 

“I know Carlos asked you to hang out with me” Green said as he set his bag down on the table. Francis frowned as he rushed to the boy. 

“I don’t like it when you look at me like that.” Green said, taking his laptop out of his bag. 

“Patrick-“ Francis went to say. 

“No it’s ok, I’m used to it” Green muttered as he went about messing with his keyboard. Francis heard the front door open, Arnoldo. Francis smiled as he looked at Green. If anything could get that kid to feel better, it was Arnoldo’s cooking. 


	3. I Can’t Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arnoldo and Patrick talk.

Sure enough, Francis was right. Arnoldo had managed to warm Patrick to the idea of cooking with them and the teen turned out to be a surprisingly good cook. The future Grand Chef Arnoldo wasn’t too fond of having someone he still didn’t really know that well help him in his kitchen but if it meant Arnoldo could make as much as he wanted, he didn’t care. The teen waiter could tell something was wrong though. Those dark circles under his eyes, the lack of energy. Arnoldo knew it all too well. They did have a lot in common. Arnoldo was suffering enough at home, and it seemed Patrick knew that sort of pain. 

“You seem out of it, Patrick, is everything ok?” Arnoldo asked him as he watched the teen mix cake batter. Green shrugged. 

“Just tired ‘s all” Green said, watching the bitter chocolate mix as he stirred it. Green always liked to hand mix is batter, the machines were a little much for the DJ. 

“Where did you learn to cook, you seen to be rather skilled in it?” Arnoldo asked, just trying to break the uneasy silence. 

“My mom was a baker but she loved to cook as well. She was the best cook in the whole world” Patrick said, smiling a little at the thought. 

“She died long ago though, so I didn’t get to learn as much as I would’ve liked” Patrick said, that little frown adorning his round features. 

“I can’t imagine the pain you must have felt” Arnoldo said, wishing he hadn’t brought up the subject. 

“I sort of saw it coming, she ended up killing herself so” Patrick mumbled, trying to keep the tears at bay. 

“No one should want to die, I know I would never think about doing something like that, there are too many people I care about. I don’t want to die know I have so much to teach Francis and how much I need to learn to become the Grand Chef I am meant to be” Arnoldo said, trying to lighten the mood. Green froze at his spot by the counter. The boy gave the other a look. 

“Can’t relate...” Green mumbled, trying to avoid whatever Arnoldo was on about. 

“Patrick!” Arnoldo yelled, suddenly feeling worried for the other teen. Arnoldo would never admit he did value Patrick, but if the boy was thinking the inevitable. 

“Just kidding, I’m not being serious!” Green said, setting the bowl he held down. Arnoldo gave him a look. 

“Well I am! I can’t die soon, I still have so much to learn!” Arnoldo yelled, throwing the spoon he was holding down. Green bit his lip. Francis and Arnoldo did have a lot to learn, but the teen waiter didn’t really teach much to Francis. From what the DJ had gathered, the future grand chef made sure Francis stayed out of the way and ate what the chef had to cook. 

“I-I’m sorry” Green merely said. Memories of his own mother flashed in his head, and how much she taught him. Green couldn’t say things like this. He couldn’t say how little he valued himself and how Carlos deserved so much more. The two went on cooking in an awkward silence, causing Patrick to let his thoughts over come him. 


	4. My Fault

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick is alone with his thoughts and his memories.

Green was getting frustrated with the rubix cube. No matter how many times Carlos tried to show him how to get it to line up, he couldn’t do it. He set the toy on his little table and stared at the ceiling. The DJ was running on autopilot nowadays. Carlos was busy with some sport thing he was doing with his mom and Pink had been leaving him alone for the most part. He was sure that the only reason she kept him around was because she didn’t know how to edit. He was alone. He looked over to the bottle of meds Carlos had made him get. He had no interest in them, they screwed him up enough. If Patrick was just honest with Carlos he probably wouldn’t be in this mess. Patrick had never had someone who cared about him this much. Well he had, but Pink gave up on Patrick a long time ago. 

His phone buzzed. 

Carlos was reminding him to take his meds. Patrick grabbed the bottle and looked them over. The last time he had taken antidepressants, his life turned into hell. The press tore him apart and Pink tore him up even more. Turns out antidepressants can make you gain weight, and for Patrick, it was just the start. That little side effect turned into the biggest fiasco with the paparazzi. They could see even the slightest change from a mile away. He could very clearly remember each and every article that poked fun and teased the poor boy. Pink wasn’t any help, she told him how horrible he looked, and he had only gained a few pounds at the time. Patrick took in a sharp breath and shook his head, trying to rid himself of the memories. He put the pill bottle back and laid back, opting to not take it. 

“This is all my fault” he mumbled as he looked at the pictures on the wall beside him. 

“Carlos wouldn’t have to go through any of this if it weren’t for me” Green said, sitting up and looking at a picture of himself and Carlos at the park. Ricardo had taken it and it turned out to be an adorable picture of the two. Those were happier times. 


End file.
